Friday, April 30, 2010

Best answer by B.E students during viva.....

This is best answer by B.E students during viva. >---------------------> This one is for those who had nightmares during their Engineering Viva's (EEEs and ECEs). They bring back fond memories for those who care to smile at the past
************************************************************************************
Interviewer: Why is a thicker conductor necessary to carry a current in A.C.as compared to D.C. ?
Candidate : An AC current goes up and down (drawing a sinusoid) and requires more space inside the wire, so the wire has to be thicker.

************************************************************************************
External (to student) : "Why does a capacitor block DC but allow AC To pass through ?
Student: See, a capacitor is like this ---| |--- , OK. DC comes straight, like this ----------, and the capacitor stops it. But AC,goes UP, DOWN, UP DOWN and jumps right over the capacitor!" ------------------- good one : - )

************************************************************************************
Interviewer: How will you tell if that wall outlet carries AC or DC?
Candidate: I will put my finger in. If it is pushed away, it is AC. If it gets stuck, it was DC.

************************************************************************************
Interviewer: H! ow will you reverse direction of an Induction motor?
Candidate: I will remove the four bolts at the x-ud, turn the motor around, and put back the bolts.

************************************************************************************
Interviewer: How do you start a synchronous motor?
Candidate: Vrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in rising pitch)
Interviewer: Stop! Stop!
Candidate: rrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in falling pitch)

************************************************************************************
Examiner: "What is a step-up transformer?"
Student: "A transformer that is put on top of electric poles."
Examiner (smiling): "And then what is a step-down transformer?"
Student (hesitantly):"Uh - A transformer that is put in the x-udment or in a pit?"
Examiner (pouncing): "Then what do you call a transformer that is installed on the ground?"
(Student knows he is caught-can't answer)
Examiner (impatiently): "Well?"
Student (triumphantly): "A stepless transformer, sir!"

************************************************************************************

TOP FACTS ABOUT ENGINEERS
************************************************************************************
Engineers at work:

Assignments solved by one and then carry out mass transfer operations throughout the class

************************************************************************************
The most important machine for Engineers:

Xerox Machine (Without which assignment Completion couldn't be possible)

************************************************************************************
Top two Engineering Rumours:

Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm
Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks

************************************************************************************
Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:

'What is this man, 60% o f the paper was out of the syllabus'
'This was the worst paper set in the entire
engineering history' 'I am failing'

************************************************************************************
***********************************************************************************
What is B.E?


8 semesters
80GB syllabus

80MB we study

80KB we remember

80 Bytes we answer

BINARY marks we get,

The Degree finally we get is BE

That is Brain Empty (B.E)

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Bugs in Movies !!!

Hi
Look at the B
U GS !!!! in the movies

Old movie. New watch? Watch it out!

You need to hold the trigger to shoot someone or...?

Hmmm.... aero planes in the Trojan War?

Bows, arrows, ... and cellphones in the olden days?

N here comes my n I hope everyone's fav………..


.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Wow! In those days,... Adidas? Hmmm.... Pakka branded Pirate!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Insult of Our Nation!

Please see the below two Incidents

Forward this post to every Indian, let every body know that these are our leaders.......
Shameless people......... Fit for Nothing....
Have a look at two of the leaders we have chosen to rule us.... sitting and having a leisure time when our
National Anthem is being played.....




To:


All Indians
(Please send this to every1 in ur chain)



Disrespect - WHO THE HELL IS SHE ????




Pls forward this to few of our news channels











Hello Everyone,
These pictures I am sending you all shows the gross disrespect and insult to
the Indian National flag by this so called 'spiritual leader' and self
proclaimed 'GOD' Mataji Nirmala Devi. This disrespect to our country'sflag
shows that she has definitely no respect or love for the country thatgave
her so much and her husband who was an IAS officer and chief of the SCI

(he
is seated next to her in the pics). Such a shame.
I do urge and plead with all Indians who deeply love their country to
forward the photos to as many people as possible so that it does catchthe
eye of someone higher up in the Indian Govt who can really take someaction
against this cult.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Fed Up of Same Taste?

रोजानl जो खाना खाते हो वो पसंद नहीं आता ? उकता गये ?
............ ... ........... .....थोड़ा पिज्जा कैसा रहेगा ?
www.kute-group.blogspot.com
नहीं ??? ओके ......... पास्ता ?
नहीं ?? .. इसके बारे में क्या सोचते हैं ?
www.kute-group.blogspot.com
आज ये खाने का भी मन नहीं ? ... ओके .. क्या इस मेक्सिकन खाने को आजमायें ?
www.kute-group.blogspot.com
दुबारा नहीं ? कोई समस्या नहीं .... हमारे पास कुछ और भी विकल्प हैं........
ह्म्म्मम्म्म्म ... चाइनीज ????? ??
www.kute-group.blogspot.com
बर्गर्सस्स्स्सस्स्स्स ? ???????
www.kute-group.blogspot.com
ओके .. हमें भारतीय खाना देखना चाहिए .......
J ? दक्षिण भारतीय व्यंजन ना ??? उत्तर भारतीय ?
www.kute-group.blogspot.com
जंक फ़ूड का मन है ?
www.kute-group.blogspot.com
हमारे पास अनगिनत विकल्प हैं ..... ..
टिफिन ?
www.kute-group..blogspot.com
मांसाहार ?
www.kute-group.blogspot.com
ज्यादा मात्रा ?
www.kute-group.blogspot.com
या केवल पके हुए मुर्गे के कुछ टुकड़े ?
आप इनमें से कुछ भी ले सकते हैं ... या इन सब में से थोड़ा- थोड़ा ले सकते हैं ...
अब शेष बची मेल के लिए परेशान मत होओ....
मगर .. इन लोगों के पास कोई विकल्प नहीं है ...
www.kute-group.blogspot.comwww.kute-group.blogspot.comwww.kute-group.blogspot..com www.kute-group..blogspot.com
इन्हें तो बस थोड़ा सा खाना चाहिए ताकि ये जिन्दा रह सकें ..........
इनके बारे में अगली बार तब सोचना जब आप किसी केफेटेरिया या होटल में यह कह कर खाना फैंक रहे होंगे कि यह स्वाद नहीं है !!
www.kute-group.blogspot.com
इनके बारे में अगली बार सोचना जब आप यह कह रहे हों ... यहाँ की रोटी इतनी सख्त है कि खायी ही नहीं जाती.........
www.kute-group.blogspot.com
कृपया खाने के अपव्यय को रोकिये
अगर आगे से कभी आपके घर में पार्टी / समारोह हो और खाना बच जाये या बेकार जा रहा हो तो बिना झिझके आप
1098 (केवल भारत में )पर फ़ोन करें - यह एक मजाक नहीं है - यह चाइल्ड हेल्पलाइन है । वे आयेंगे और भोजन एकत्रित करके ले जायेंगे
कृप्या इस सन्देश को ज्यादा से ज्यादा प्रसारित करें इससे उन बच्चों का पेट भर सकता है
कृप्या इस श्रृंखला को तोड़े नहीं .....
हम चुटकुले और स्पाम मेल अपने दोस्तों और अपने नेटवर्क में करते हैं ,क्यों नहीं इस बार इस अच्छे सन्देश को आगे से आगे मेल करें ताकि हम भारत को रहने के लिए दुनिया की सबसे अच्छी जगह बनाने में सहयोग कर सकें -
'मदद करने वाले हाथ प्रार्थना करने वाले होंठो से अच्छे होते हैं ' - हमें अपना मददगार हाथ देंवे

Monday, April 26, 2010

Cruelty with Baby Seal

This is me.... a Baby Seal..
L o v e b e a t s
Norway and Canada have a new kind of tourism. Killing baby seals!!!! They call it 'hunting' and it's a sport

L o v e b e a t s
You want to call this sport ??

L o v e b e a t s
Is he a sportsman???

L o v e b e a t s
L o v e b e a t s
Why?

L o v e b e a t s
You're our only hope !!!

L o v e b e a t s
Please let it stop. This barbarism shouldn't be possible in our society

L o v e b e a t s
Don't turn your back on us, we are so defenseless, we have no guns, please help us..!!!


I know these images seem painful for you, but we feel the pain...!! We are being slaughtered by ruthless people and it's going on RIGHT NOW...!!!

L o v e b e a t s
What gives him the right to kill us. Who is he to decide about life and death

L o v e b e a t s
What kind of sport is this..?? I didn't harm anyone..!! I was just swimming around doing nothing, now I'm dead...!!

L o v e b e a t s
Please help me and my friends...!! !


L o v e b e a t s
You can't just ignore these images..?? Keep silent and doing nothing makes you guilty...!!

L o v e b e a t s
Please help us...!!

L o v e b e a t s

L o v e b e a t s
Please don't leave us alone...!!


L o v e b e a t s




STOP THE KILLING OF SEALS

Bring these murderers to the attention
of world leaders.
Thank you... !!!!!

THIS IS THEIR HOME TOO.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

How diplomatic Boys are...!

Note: The Conversation in the brackets {} contain the words which the guy is speaking to himself!!!


She gives a missed call to him. and He calls her back..
She: Hello!
He:
{are yaar...Raat ke 10 bajte nahin ki iski 2-2 second waali missed calls shuru.pata nahi aaj kya bore karegi}
Hi .. kya baat hai..?

She: kuch nahi....bas aise hi phone kiya...
He:
{Aise hee ??? Yeh kya Radio Station hai ki aise hee...!! Aur Call kahan kiya ?... khali missed call to diya hai, roz ki tarah...}
oh...ok ..kya kar rahi thi ??

She: abhi abhi dinner khatam kiya....tum kya kar rahe the?

He:
{mai to lunch karke utha hoon na}
Mera bhi abhi abhi dinner khatam hua ab...."Ladki Kyon Najaane Kyon" sun raha hu FM par....
She: nice song. (And then she hums a line from the son"Hum Tum")
He:
{Yaaaaaaaaarrrrr .kyun bola gaane ka naam .. Ab ye Madonna saare raag gaa degi yaheen}
Hey!!!! Tum itni achchi gaati ho? mujhe pata hi nah tha ..
She: *giggles*

He:
{Ohhhho kya hansti hai .. aisa lag raha hai koi gaadi start kar raha hai}
Hey ek aur baar gaao na pls!
She: Yehan sab so rahe hai... Agar main gaaongi to sab uth jaaenge.
He:
{Ekdum Correct...woh yehi samjhenge ki koi paagal kisi baat par naraaz ho gayi hai ...}
Come on! Please!

She: Hattt ...I don't sing that well
He:
{Yeh to saari duniya ko pata hai... paka kyun rahi hai}
It was really sweet. Please gaao na dear .

She: Mujhe kuch ajeeb sa lagta hai jaan .
He:
{mujhe tujhse jyada ajeeb lagta hai, dekh phir bhi shaheed hone ko tayaar baitha hoon}
Aisa kuch bhi nahi hai jaanu...gaao na
{mere ko doosra raasta nahi hai....is liye bola}
Abhi tum gaaogi ya nahi ?
She: kyun pareshaan kar rahe ho?

He: Acchha ! Ok Nahi karta

She: I don't have that great a voice ... ye to aise hee gaa diya tha ...warna mai nahin gaati

He:
{Fir aise hee ??? bada ehsaan karti agar nahin gaati .kaan mai se khoon nikalne waala hai... saala gadha bhi sharma jaaye teri awaaz sunke}
hmmmmmmm

She: Theek hai... jab itni zid kar rahe ho... sirf ek stanza gaaungi theek hai??

He:
{Abbe teri !!! fas gayaaaaa ... shittttt . aur kya kya jhelna padega malum nahi.}
Great!!!!

She: kaunsa gaana gaau ?

He:
{Tum kuch bhi gaao... meri to aaj by default neend hai.}
Hmmmm. 'Mahiya' from Awarapan?

She: Nice song. But mujhe lyrics yaad nahi hai

He:
{Thank God ... Text book chhodke tujhe aur kya pata hai bol ...}
Dhoom Machale?

She: Nahi main wohi gaana gaaungi

He:
{Aye tere nakhre ... mai to jaise mara jaa raha hoon teri awaaz sun ne ke liye Shakira . koi bhi gaana gaa....mere kaan to pakne waale hai}
Cool !!!!


(She clears her throat, hums a line and then)

She: Nahi jaan. I am feeling very shy

He:
{Tu shuru kyun hoti hai . ek bar shuru hokar khatam kyun nahin karti jaldi jaldi... ab kya Eden Gardens book karun, tab gayegi}
Gaao na...pls gaao na....teri awaaz ki samundar me main doob jaana chahta hoon

She: dekho...ab tum mujhe naaraaz kar rahe ho .
He:
{Achchha ab tujhe manaane mai poore sheher ko phool leke bhejun kya}
No no... Tum shy feel kar rahi ho na... is liye...Trying to make u comfortable .

She: Hmmm.

He:
{Ye makkhi ki tarah kya shuru ho gayi}
Please gaao na darling...

She: Main kal gaaun?

He:
{Haaaaaannnn...jaaan bachi... nikal leta hoon...abhi mauka hai}
Theek hai jaisi tumhaari merzi

She: Hmmm

He: Good night

She: Good night
Sweet Dreams. Take care...

He: Sweets dreams to u too

{kaahe ke sweet dreams ..sone degi tab na ayenge dreams .abhi 2 minute mein fir call karegi}


After a while She calls Him (sorry...that never happens, she gives only a missed call)

She: Hey. so gaye the kya?

He:
{Nahiii...current ka aavishkaar kar raha tha.....}
Nahi jaan
She: kya kar rahe ho?
He:
{Raat ko kya gili danda khelna hai...}
Match dekh raha tha.

She: Theek hai tum match dekho

He:
{phone rakhegi to dekhunga na... ya tu running commentary sunayegi}
Hey it's ok... purana match hai

She: Did u feel bad I didn't sing?

(Since it is a tricky question, He thinks for a while}

He:
{Bad eh? Crazy girl... this was the luckiest day in my life, since you didn't sing}
Bad toh main nahi keh raha jaanu. But I want you to be comfortable first.... tumhi ne bola ki main kal gaaungi.....So, me waiting.

{maine to socha tha ki aaj bach gaya... dhatttt tereki :-(}


She sings 1 stanza from the song
'Jiski aankhon me meri hi nami.....'

He: Wow. Too good!

She: jhoot....mujhe maloom hai ki meri awaaz itni achchi nahi hai


He:
{Saamne aa jaa, fir bataata hoon... pagal kar diya...chalo shukr hai self realization hai ... :-)}
Nahi darling you really sing well

She: nahi..mujhe maloom hai tum bas aise hi keh rahe ho

He:
{Very good.. aakhir tumne pata laga hi liya.....kyun bhagwaan kyun !! mere saath ye julm kyun}
Cheee! Cheee! teri voice agar itni buri hoti to main kya ab tak na sun raha hota

She: Hmmmm...theek hai.. good night.. ab tum bhi so jaao.

He:
{Achcha mil gayi permission ... waise tera gaana sunne ke baad neend kahanaayegi ab ...}
Good night!

She: Take care

He: You too

She: Hey......

He:
{Arrre yaar.. aaj ye nahi chhodegi} kya hai sweety?

She: sach bataao honey..meri voice achchi hai ya nahi...
He:
{Tu apni voice record karke sun kyon nahi leti ek baar!! dimaag ka dahi kar rakha hai .. lassi banaake peeja mere dimaag ki}
sachchi... Of course.
She: sirf jhoot

He:
{Iski toh... !! jab pata hai to mujhse kya singing sensation ka award legi !! phata dhol.}
Not at all. You sing very well.

She: Hmmm.... tum keh rahe ho to theek hi hoga. Good night.

He: Good Night..!
{It's better to switched off my cell after this call}

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Salary & Govt. Concessions for a Member of Parliament (MP)

Monthly Salary : 12,000

Expense for Constitution per month :10,000

Office expenditure per month :14,000

Traveling concession (Rs. 8 per km) : 48,000( e.g. For a visit from kerala to Delhi & return: 6000 km)

Daily DA TA during parliament meets :500/day

Charge for 1 class (A/C) in train: Free (For any number of times)
(All over India )

Charge for Business Class in flights : Free for 40 trips / year (With wife or P.A.)

Rent for MP hostel at Delhi : Free

Electricity costs at home : Free up to 50,000 units

Local phone call charge : Free up to 1 ,70,000 calls.

TOTAL expense for a MP [having no qualification] per year : 32,00,000 [i.e. . 2.66 lakh/month]

TOTAL expense for 5 years : 1,60,00,000

For 534 MPs, the expense for 5 years :
8,54,40,00,000 (nearly 855 crores)


AND THE PRIME MINISTER IS ASKING THE HIGHLY QUALIFIED, OUT PERFORMING CEOs TO CUT DOWN THEIR SALARIES...

This is how all our tax money is been swallowed and price hike on our regular commodities..........
And this is the present condition of our country:




855 crores could make their life livable !!
Think of the great democracy we have.................

MERCEDES DOES IT AGAIN... & MORE

MERCEDES DOES IT AGAIN...










The car pictured in this note is a Mercedes Maybach..
Notice the 'recliner' rear seats, and the 'electrostatic' sunroof.
The sunroof turns from opaque to crystal clear depending on
the passengers preference.
























NOW, STOP DREAMING AND GET
BACK TO WORK! (BE HAPPY
WITH WHAT YOU'VE GOT)!







There is more .....



WHEN HELMETS MAKE NO SENSE...










PARACHUTE'S A BETTER IDEA...


There is yet more .......



What will I be when I grow up?










If you don't pass this along, a dog

Will come out and pee on your computer!











And in a final thought ; )





There have been times when I may have;


disturbed you,


troubled you,


pestered you,

irritated you,


bugged you, or

got on your nerves with all the emails I send,

So today I just wanna tell you that...




I PLAN TO CONTINUE !