Cleave Gagged Girls

Exam time

love......

Love defined by a 5 yr old girlLove is when "he takes my chocolates and comes back with the wrapper!"

A 10 yr old girlLove is when "we work for a project and he intentionally touches my hand trying to get a pen!"

A 15yr old girlLove is when "we get caught bunking the class and he takes the blame!"

A 18yr old girlLove is when "At farewell he hugs me saying "we will remain in touch!"

A 21yr old girlLove is when " he calls me every night and we keep talking abt useless things whole night happily!"

A 25yr old womanLove is when " he proposes me with a ring ..... and makes a fool of himself and says u know ...." I LOVE U!"

A 35yr old womanLove is when " he cleans the house seeing me tired!"

A 50yr old womanLove is when " He is ill and still cracks a joke just to make me laugh!"

A 60yr old womanLove is when " he is taking his last breath and saying im glad as i know what love is and leavs me with a tear forever"

LOVE IS THE BEST FEELING !!!!!!!

Surprise For you...:-)

SURPRISE FOR YOU

Click on the below link.

You will get a black page.

Click your mouse anywhere (& everywhere) on the page & see what happens!

Better yet, click & drag your mouse over the black page.


Hope you will like it.

I loved it!




Click Here

MOST USED LINES @ SCHOOL OR COLLEGE

1. On being Late:

"Kab shuru hui class?"

"Attendance ho gayi kya??"

"Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar"

"Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu......... bolna ....... kal kyapadaya tha isne"

"Ek page de na.......... abey pen bhi to de, nahi to kisselikhunga......."

" koi subah kaise aa sakta hai........"

"wo bhi iss class ke liye "

2. During the lecture:

"Yesss!!!! Sirrr.......The answer is

........huuuummmmm.......aaaaaaaa............."

"No sir.....I know the answer ......sir...."

"Saala apne aapko Newton samajta hai"

"Abe lecture ko maar goli..... Wo kya lag rahi hai aaj........"

"Uski tshirt pe kya likha hai dekh"

"Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha kya.......gadha......."

"Kya bore kar raha hai. Bola tha canteen chalte hain .."

"Heads, we go canteen , Tails, we go now!!!"

3. Lab:

"Expt. 2 likha??"

"last time tu aaya the kya?""

"Karna kya hai??"

"Yeh bhai.....merko pata hota to tere pass kyon aata........"

"Areee tu to bura maan gaya .......chal dikha na.....bhau kyo katahai...."

4. Sessionals Test:

"sessionals test???? ......Aree yaar...... "

"Kya....... abe unit test mein itna sara topic hai to final mein kyahoga...."

"Oye Kunal kaha hai......uska roll number mere pehle hai.......wo nahi aaya to mein pakka fail...."

After test......

"yaar pada tha....recall nahi kar paya.......chhod na ....... Canteen chalega..." SAHI !!

5. For attendance

"I was in the class, attendence bolna bhool gaya "

"Oye usko thoda khush kar list se tera naam hata dega........"

"Bola tha proxy regularly maar........ Saale tera class karne ka kya faida hua....."

6. Late submission of assignments:

" Maine us ko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assgnment bhi saath mein submit kar dena"

"Ab mein kya karu usne mere ko bole bina hi submit kar diya........"

"They should allow XEROX........sala system hi kharab hai "

"Sala bol raha hai 2 gante langege photostat main....bahut busy h itni der main toh main puri class ke assgmnt likh du"

7 . After exam:

"Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya? Shitt..."

"kya bol raha hai yaar..aise karna tha kya"

"1st mein 3 marks.....2nd mein 0.......3rd mein 2.......Gaya..........fail pakka......."

"Yaar notice lagte hi hata dena........wo kya soochegi mera marks dekhkar......"

8 . VIVA (b4 exam):

"Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga"

"Aeee.......Akash.....terese kya kya poocha....mood kaisa hai.."

"External ke ghar mein bacche nahi hai kya......."

"Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ki ab tak preparation nahi hui hai"

9 . Submission:

"Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?"

"kaat kaat ke likh le...kaon padhta hai"

"Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"

"Jai ho computer baba ki......jai ho Ctrl C - Ctrl V ki......."

"Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?"

10 .Copying Assignments:

"Ye tune kya likha hai????"

(The best one)

"Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa rahahai uska drawing nikal"

"Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??"

" Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya, tu bhi wohi kar."

"Koi hint........"

"Are baba ghaseet de........na tu samjega na wo........"

11. Exam:

"Jo (mujhe) aata hai, woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai woh NAHI aata hai" ..VERY VERY TRUE !!

"ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai yaar....to ab kya poochenge"

"ye last time hi poochha thaa......is baar nahi aana chahiye"

"tere paas is ke notes hai??"

"Neend aa rahi mujhe to...thodi der so jata hoo..utha diyo pakka"

"woh chapter... mark weightage 6 marks... (facial ex-pressions speaks the story)"

"nahi samjha to rat le" - PERFECT ONE

"Iss paper mein roll number ke kya order hai........"

"Ek aur din ka gap de dete to kya 3rd World War ho jata tha kya........."

Why INDIA is in trouble???????????

Why INDIA is in trouble............................ Population: 100 crore 9 crore retired 30 crore in state Govt; 17 crore in central Govt. (Both categories don't work) 1 crore IT professional (don't work for India ) 25 crore in school 1 crore are under 5 years 15 crore unemployed 1.2 crore u can find anytime in hospitals Statistics says u find 79,99,998 people anytime in jail The Balance two are U & Me. U are busy " checking Mails /sending fwds.. "..!! HOW CAN I HANDLE INDIA alone? Aiyyyyo...... Live! Love!! Lough!!!

english

The English
Language Lesson

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the
same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

Reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:

1) I did not object to the object.
2) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
3) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
4) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
5) The farmer could produce produce.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And that is just the beginning
even though this is the end.

Beautiful 3D pictures

Wonderful !!!
Below are 3 beautiful 3-D pictures.

Click on the picture and move your mouse around and the picture will give you a 360 degree view.

CLICK HERE FOR PICTURE NUMBER 1

CLICK HERE FOR PICTURE NUMBER 2

CLICK HERE FOR PICTURE NUMBER 3

Wireless Electricity Delivered Over Distance

Imagine a future in which wireless electricity makes everyday products more convenient, reliable, and environmentally friendly.

Cell phones, game controllers, laptop computers, mobile robots, even electric vehicles capable of re-charging themselves without ever being plugged in. Flat screen TV’s and digital picture frames that hang on the wall—without requiring a wire and plug for power. Industrial systems and medical devices made more reliable by eliminating trouble prone wiring and replaceable batteries. WiTricity Corp. is working to make this future a reality, developing wireless electricity technology that will operate safely and efficiently over distances ranging from centimeters to several meters—and will deliver power ranging from milliwatts to kilowatts.

WiTricity Corp.’s vision is to develop a family of wireless electric power components that will enable OEM’s in a broad range of industries and applications to make their products truly “wireless.” Wireless electric power delivered over room scale distances, and with high efficiency. Wireless electric power that is safe for people and animals. Wireless electric power—imagine no more… it’s here!

YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH

Don’t tell me your age; you'd probably lie anyway-but the Hershey Man will know! YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH This is pretty neat. DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read. Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun. 1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10) 2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold) 3. Add 5 4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator 5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1760 .. If you haven't, add 1759.. 6... Now subtract the four digit year that you were born. You should have a three digit number The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week). The next two numbers are YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!) THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2010) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS. Chocolate Calculator.

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.

Politician's drama

(Rahul Gandhi) natak REEBOK SHOES ************************************************************ Karunanidhi Fasting First time in the world history fasting only 4 hours and that too with an AC mc . This is the comedy of the year 2009. Fasting started after breakfast and ended before lunch. Interesting one!! Dont forget to forward this mail, We have to show these type of drama's to everyone. we are the youngers, we are the builders of the nation... stop this.....................grow up to be an indian

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Note :-) Why Should We Believe In God?

Because There Are Some Questions Which Can't Be Answered By Google. :-)

A veiled threat or an attack on faith?

The French parliament has passed a vote to ban the wearing of Islamic face veils. The move has broad cross-party support in the National Assembly and opinion polls suggest overwhelming public support. To become law, it must now be ratified by the Senate in September.

Punishments for not adhering to the ban would include fines of 150 Euros for women - men who force their wives or daughters to wear the veil face much larger fines and possible jail terms.

Spain and Belgium are debating similar legislation and, with such large-scale immigration in the past 20 or 30 years, identity has become a popular theme across Europe.

Mishal Husain spoke to Lebanese journalist Baria Almuddin and Myriam Francois-Cerrah from Oxford University Islamic Society.

Google secretly developing a competitor to Paul the Octopus

California, USA. Concerned over the growing popularity of Paul the Octopus for accurately resolving people’s doubts, something for which a lot of people have relied upon Google search results, Google is reported to be developing its own Octopus, tentatively named “Google 8”. The Google Octopus could be launched anytime later this year and would be distributed and sold through retail stores unlike other google products that were distributed and sold through online downloads.

“It would look like a real blood and flesh octopus and would be available in a small aquarium of 3x3x3 feet cubic size. But it would actually be an android running on Google’s complex search engine algorithm, improvised to resolve specific questions like which team could win a match or whether a person would get a job.” informed a popular tech blogger, even though Google declined to comment on the reports.

Google 8, the Google Octopus, is ready to answer all your questions that ever bothered you

Experts believe that Google was indeed worried over the popularity of Paul, the psychic octopus, who could correctly predict the results of all the FIFA world cup matches that Germany played. Earlier, Google was the one stop solution for a person in doubt, a position that now threatens to go to octopuses.

“People would ask all kinds of questions to Google when something bothered them – Will I ever get married? When will I die? Is my neighbor a sex offender? Will Argentina win the 2010 world cup? Will Germany be a Muslim state by 2050? – but soon they could start flocking to octopuses for such queries and google could lose a considerable traffic.” explained an internet expert.

Earlier Google had felt threat from the growing popularity of facebook and was believed to be working on development of “Google Me”, but it’s not clear if the internet giant could shelve the development of “Google Me” to launch “Google 8” in time.

“I believe they would be wise to work on the Google Octopus at this moment as it threatens their primary business – the search engine market. Also, we have specific information that China is planning to flood global markets with smaller and cheaper octopuses that people could buy and keep in their homes to resolve their queries.” another expert opined.

Faking News sources in China confirm that preparations are afoot to market tiny octopuses in smaller aquariums and brand them iPaul, something that hurts Google as well as Apple, two American corporate giants. The Chinese iPaul octopuses would be real alive octopuses and would be projected as having psychic powers similar to Paul the Octopus.

Back in India, domestic babas too are concerned over the latest developments and are planning to protest the entry of iPaul and Google 8 into the Indian markets.

Library built into a staircase

The stairs going up to the attic room of a Victorian row house in London have been fitted with books that line each riser and wrap around the edges. As someone who lives in small places with lots of books (and no matter what I do, no matter how ruthless I am, I always seem to have lots more books than I have room for) this kind of thing is sheer aspirational porn for me.

The flat occupies part of the shared top floor of an existing Victorian mansion block. Our proposal extended the flat into the unused loft space above, creating a new bedroom level and increasing the floor area of the flat by approximately one third. We created a 'secret' staircase, hidden from the main reception room, to access a new loft bedroom lit by roof lights. Limited by space, we melded the idea of a staircase with our client's desire for a library to form a 'library staircase' in which English oak stair treads and shelves are both completely lined with books. With a skylight above lighting the staircase, it becomes the perfect place to stop and browse a tome. The stair structure was designed as an upside down 'sedan chair' structure (with Rodrigues Associates, Structural Engineers, London) that carries the whole weight of the stair and books back to the main structural walls of the building. It dangles from the upper floor thereby avoiding any complicated neighbour issues with the floors below.

Spelling is still important....yes

To my 'selected' strange-minded friends: If you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends and the person that sent it to you with 'yes' in the subject line.

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Only great minds can read this
This is weird, but interesting!

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

FUNNY DEFINITIONS

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and

a woman gains her masters.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to

the notes of the students without passing through ‘the minds of either’

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and

sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death

Behold the difference...

BALANCE FOOD DUMPED ON THE SOIL AFTER THE PARTY




ONE PART OF THE WORLD WASTING THE FOOD

ANOTHER PART OF THE WORLD DOESNT HAVE FOOD TO RUN THEIR LIFE

DON'T waste FOODS any more........ ......... ...... DON'T waste FOODS any more, DONATE for needy HEAL THE WORLD There´s a place in your heart And I know that it is love And this place could Be much brighter than tomorrow And if you really try You´ll find there´s no need to cry In this place you´ll feel There´s no hurt or sorrow There are ways To get there If you care enough For the living Make a little space Make a better place Heal the world Make it a better place For you and for me And the entire human race There are people dying If you care enough For the living Make a better place For you and for me Let this be remembered.. . each time we throw away Foods! Mc donalds who throw away foods to keep freshness of their foods these people don't have anything! people who are live in rich countries,, don't know this,, don't want to know this,, never understand this! but U,, please U,, understand this ..................................